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Functional Saviour of Chaos

The wipers scrape across the car windscreen revealing a gloomy vision of grid lock reaching far towards the horizon.  The kids in the back seat begin to become stressed with the delay and their playful whispers and giggles change to crescendo of screaming and crying.  You should have known that this was going to happen weeks ago when your brainwave struck, but then having a dinner party always seems like a good idea at the time.

Finally you pull into the drive and begin un-loading the car, first the kids; then the 25 bags of shopping which had been unceremoniously and speedily loaded into the boot of the car.  On your final dash to repatriate your belongings you notice that one of the shopping bags has burst spilling its contents all over the drive, your stress levels climb to critical as you are bombarded by large droplets of rain while frantically trying to save an orange from rolling down the drive and onto the road.  Finally you close the door and sigh with relief, phase one has been completed.

You shake yourself down and enter phase two of operation dinner party.  With the kids now settled you are able to load the shopping into your brand new kitchen.  This phase of the operation has become much more efficient and scientific with your main frustration being the grocery store staff jumbling up your shopping in a disorganised way, they don’t know how organised you now are!  You remember the lengths that your kitchen designer went to in order to ensure that everything was in its rightful place and you understand that you are now the custodian of this mantle; an enforcer of the zoning approach to kitchen design.  Following the functional plan now will make things much easier in the final stage of the proceedings!

Your old kitchen was a little less scientific and was based upon the working triangle theory, but your new kitchen has surpassed all expectations; it not only sits as a testament of your personal taste and style but it has been zoned to become a truly Dynamic Space!

With great speed and with the precision of a NASA operative working 225miles above the Earth’s surface you begin re-homing your consumable items.  The procedure is easy to remember once you have done it the first time as each drawer still contains unused items from the last shopping run.  You mutter to yourself as you move through the zones, consumables zone, unit one, drawer 2 is for canned produce, preparation zone, unit 6, drawer three is for spices and foil and it is pretty obvious to you now that the dishwasher tablets and bleach are stored in the cleaning zone drawer two.  Before long you are able to remove the wet shopping bags, mop the floor and pull on your apron!

The cooking experience is now a pleasure and the precision of loading the kitchen now provides dividends.  You are now able to glide through your kitchen taking various items from each of the zones as you go, the natural flow created is only emphasised by the fact that your kitchen designer had tactfully realised that you were vertically challenged and had lowered a section of the worktop so that you could get good purchase on your rolling pin.  You recall your designer discussing the relationship between your body and the kitchen and that she referred to it as the science of ergonomics, this concept is also the reason why your kitchen has had all its low level shelves replaced by pull out drawers…terribly handy…no need to stoop!  Before long you have prepared a gastronomic extravaganza which will be served to guests from a cathedral of aesthetical wonder…your new kitchen!

As you wait for your guests to arrive you flick through the high end kitchen magazine that you couldn’t resist while shopping and examine the images through an enlightened gaze.  As the kids run into the room and dash through the kitchen, animating the space, you realise that the design you chose fits your needs perfectly and you are very proud to unveil your new kitchen to your guests.  With that the doorbell rings!

Darren  Morgan

Darren Morgan

Working in rural Ireland, Darren Morgan is a designer and writer who is
beginning to make an impression far beyond his native shores.
Having won some of the most prestigious design awards in the
industry and being noted on multiple websites and journals
across the globe, his passion for kitchen design is beginning to
inspire others to think about the kitchen in a different way. He
simply believes that “Kitchen design is changing.”

  • http://twitter.com/Interiorporn Luke Williams

    Written like a true Jedi kitchen master

  • http://twitter.com/dmkitchen Darren Morgan

    Why thank you I can…may the force be with you Luke!

  • http://www.coastersfurnitures.com/glass-coaster-set/ Glass Coaster Set

    Oh!…that’s great
    helpful, it’s so right to me! Million thanks for the article,


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